I’ve said it before, so let me say it again.

I am NOT a conspiracy theorist.

But someone needs to explain to me all the roundabout in southeast Missouri. 

There’s a new one in Jackson. On Highway 25. I’ve been driving past it for weeks. I think.

Hold on.

Let me check that.

Okay, so It’s NOT on Highway 25. It’s on Highway 61. At Deerwood Drive. Near the civic center. I should’ve remembered that, considering I walk the trail near Highway 61 and have seen traffic lined up almost all the way back to Wibbs waiting on one of those freestanding stoplights that are designed to control traffic but really? All they do is slow things down. 

That’s the problem. I drive these roads every day for work, sometimes just for fun. And look, I just told you with complete confidence that the new roundabout was on a highway it isn’t on. 

I believed it myself when I said it.

That’s how I know something is going on.

So many of these suckers have been added in the last few years I can’t keep track. Highway 61 and Main. Highway 61 and Deerwood. Highway 25 at Route K out in Gordonville. Highway 25 at Route 77 down at Blomeyer. Are there more in MoDot’s plans? Probably.

Did you know that the Federal Highway Administration has been pushing roundabouts hard since the 90s? The official line is that they reduce fatal crashes by something like ninety percent. Fewer T-bones. Lower speeds. Safer for everyone. Unless you’re texting and driving. Then who knows. 

But the public works director here in Jackson, when asked about the new one, said they had success with the previous two.

Success? At what, exactly?

Success isn’t a normal way to describe an intersection. Intersections don’t succeed or fail. They function. Or they don’t. Roads have outcomes? How?What does success look like? It’s not like they can move or react to traffic. So what does this mean?

Because what a roundabout actually does is force you to slow down. You have to yield. It makes you merge and circle a giant concrete barrier in the middle of a traffic lane.

Fight it if you want to, but winning is only for those of us willing to submit to its geometry.

Complacency. No one is talking about them, complaining to MoDot about their construction. Why is that? When the first one went in at 61 and Main, everyone I talked to was furious. Letters to the editor at the Southeast Missourian and the Cash Book Journal, not to mention the myriad of Facebook posts. I even heard a guy who was at Connection Point Church say it was unconstitutional.

That guy? He’s silent now. Why? Because he just yields. He circles. He goes where the roundabout sends him.

As for me, I am following suit, circling the roundabout. I told you the new one was on Highway 25. But I was mistaken. I thought for sure I was right.

You know what? Maybe I need a little more sleep. But if you remember what used to be where a roundabout is now (and I mean really remember it, not just sort of), drop it in the comments. I’m building a case. And I need more evidence than just my own eyes.

So, do me favor, help me out. Can you picture what used to be there, or is it just a roundabout now?