I’ve said it before, so let me say it again.

I am NOT a conspiracy theorist.

But someone needs to explain the Cheetos trucks.

I was driving south on I-55 when I saw the first one heading north. I thought it was cool, you know? It’s the kind of thing you notice once and forget. A Cheetos truck. Sure. Okay. Moving on.

Except I didn’t move on. Why? Because those trucks kept on coming. Not all at once. Different days, different times. Always north. Always I-55. By the fifth one, I started paying attention. By the eighth? I had questions. Real ones. Like, where the hell are they all going? Is there a Cheetos distribution hub somewhere north of here that I am unaware of? Is Frito-Lay running a covert snack operation? Are there really that many people in the Chicago metro area eating Cheetos? Or is something more sinister going on?

I tried to look it up. There’s apparently a distribution center in St. Louis — which explains one truck. Maybe two. It does not explain eight. I found nothing else. Which, if you think about it, is exactly what you’d anticipate if something were going on.

So is it?

Well, I’m not saying it is, but . . .

I’m pretty sure I saw Chester Cheetah driving the eighth truck. And now? Now I don’t know what I’m saying.

Maybe I need a little more sleep. But if you’ve spotted these trucks — or better yet, if you’ve seen Tesla semis pulling these trailers — drop it in the comments. I’m building a case, and I need more evidence than just my own eyes.

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If you liked this post, check out these three:

Worth Holding — I drive I-55 for work. I see things. This one is about what the road tells you when you’re paying attention.

Key, What Key? — Another slow-burn story where everything is fine. Until it isn’t.

Invisible — The whole post is about what happens when you keep seeing something other people walk right past. Sound familiar?