I woke up, rolled out of bed. Numb. That’s what I felt. An ache inside for a presence I would never see or hear again.

Jude died the day before and I accepted it. Life continues, regardless of how I am feeling. You either accept it or quit.

I chose to accept it. Feel it all. I tried to quit with James’ death. Gave up on church. Gave up on God. Quit trying to feel anything at all. I was twenty years old, exhausted, and grieving. Twenty and not enough lived life to understand what to call it.

Ghosted. No more conversation. No contact. Not so much as a text message. How do you accept the reality that someone doesn’t want to communicate with you anymore?

It happened with my marriage. No fighting. No working on it in counseling. Just three words: I am done.

How do you handle that? Your relationship ends because one person chooses to end it, all without any communication.

I had no choice. Accept it or quit. I chose to accept it, letting go of figuring out her why, trying to understand what happened.

After losing so much you wonder if accepting it is really worth it. Is it worth the emotional pains and aches that being alone and sitting with it won’t fix?

I had to accept I may not love someone again. In order to move on, I had to accept love may never come my way again.

Then I met her. Still trying to figure out why she was okay with the messy person I was.

Then it hit me.

She wasn’t hiding who she was. She said the quiet part out loud.

We were walking into it together, only this time we had each other. We found ourselves connected because we put all our cards on the table. Said the things we told God about. Intimacies. Secrets. How we felt. Tears. Laughter.

Is it easy? Heck no! But accepting it is hard is different than quitting or giving up.

Jesus told a story about a son who walked away and his father welcomed him back, running to him. All before he could apologize. Without conditions. Just open arms. That right there? That’s true acceptance.

We accept each other as we are. Messiness and all.

That’s why it’s worth it.

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Who ran toward you before you finished your apology?