Here’s a piercing question keeping many leaders awake at night: Are you willing to enter uncomfortable spaces? Spaces where the real healing is happening?

Living through this I did what I thought was the right thing, based on my experiences with Pete Scazzero and the Emotionally Healthy Discipleship model. First, I raised a legitimate concern through proper channels and received . . . silence. For one week I heard nothing, except silence. When I was able to schedule the meeting? It was a personally significant moment when vulnerability felt safe, my birthday. After the meeting? More silence. Stretching into more than a year. Eventually, my pain found its voice. Imperfect? Perhaps. But honest. With newfound energy for engagement, leadership attacked. Not about the original concern, but my tone. My timing. My overall approach, revealing something troubling about biblical leadership in our generation.

We’ve confused MANAGEMENT with SHEPHERDING.

True spiritual leadership requires entering into people’s mess. Not simply managing it from a distance. When leaders respond to legitimate pain with programs rather than presence, they’re missing the fundamental call of Christ-centered leadership. “Take this class, then maybe we’ll meet” isn’t shepherding. It’s institutional damage control masquerading as pastoral care.

We’ve mistaken INSTITUTIONAL protection for faithful stewardship.

The instinct is to preserve organizational reputation. That frequently masquerades as godly wisdom. But when protecting the institution becomes more important than caring for the individual who served faithfully for decades, we’ve inverted the very purpose of our calling.

Christ died for people, not institutions.

We’ve replaced HUMBLE engagement with positional authority.

Some leaders believe their role exempts them from the hard work of building relationships. They hide behind titles. Processes and protocols help them to avoid admitting they don’t know how to navigate difficult conversations.

This isn’t leadership. It’s fear dressed in spiritual clothing.

The most dangerous leaders aren’t those who openly rebel against God’s heart. They’re those who genuinely care but lack courage. Instead of caring, they translate care into competent engagement, especially when the cost is their comfort.

Consider this: when someone faithfully serves for years raises a concern, what does our response reveal about our hearts? Do we lean in with curiosity and humility? Or do we retreat hiding behind institutional barriers because engagement feels way too risky?

Leadership chose the latter. When my grief journey intersected with their discomfort? Programs not presence was more appealing. Deflection felt safer than dialogue.

God’s heart breaks for both the leader avoiding difficult conversations and the person whose pain remains unaddressed. Neither reflects His desire for authentic Kingdom community.

The pathway forward requires leaders to understand all authority comes not from position but from their willingness to enter into the uncomfortable spaces where real healing happens. It demands humility. Saying, “I don’t know how to handle this well, but I’m committed to learning alongside you,” is vulnerable and powerful!

It’s about COURAGE. Not perfection. Courage is acknowledging we’ve fallen short. The courage to sit with someone’s pain without immediately offering solutions. The courage to admit that good intentions aren’t enough when people are hurting.

True leadership mirrors Christ’s heart: willing to enter into suffering, committed to walking alongside the broken, humble enough to admit weakness.

When we lead from this place, difficult conversations become opportunities for grace rather than threats to be managed.

The question for every leader isn’t whether you’ll face difficult moments. It’s whether you’ll have the COURAGE to engage them with the heart of Christ.

Sometimes the most important conversations are the ones we’re most afraid to have.

Courage isn’t about being ready. It’s all about making the first move. You know that conversation you’ve been avoiding. You know the person. So, what’s your first move?

Tags: #CourageousLeadership #AuthenticCommunity #ChristCenteredLeadership #VulnerableLeadership #KingdomValues