I lumped everything together in my earlier post about grief and community silence. Got it WRONG. https://fiveminuteobservations.com/20205/07/29/the-church-failed-me-in-my-darkest-hour-but-god-didnt/

So, I owe you an apology. You orchestrated our survival in those first devastating days after Jude died. You created the GoFundMe that carried us through funeral expenses. You organized the meal train that fed us when we couldn’t think straight. You saw a family in crisis and responded with both heart and logistics. You deserve recognition, not erasure.

Others stepped up too. They brought food, offered help, showed up when showing up was hardest.

What I was trying to say, and totally botched, was something different. I was talking about what happened months later. A year later. Two years out. When everyone else had moved on but we were still carrying the weight. That’s when I felt the silence cut deep.

Crisis care and long-term grief support are different things. Our community excelled at the first. The second? That’s where the silence lived.

Instead, I made it sound like no one cared from the beginning. That WASN’T TRUE.

So thank you. Thank you to everyone who held us up in those first impossible weeks. You showed up when it mattered most.

For those facing long seasons of grief, both things can be true. People can rally beautifully in crisis and still not know how to walk alongside you in the long aftermath.

I felt the immediate response. I also felt the later silence. Both were real.

I got it wrong the first time. I’m trying to get it right now.