Heading home last night on E Main Street and I felt the presence of an evil force behind me.

Black Cadillac. Sun visor lowered just enough to cover the eyes, but the wrinkled skin and expression on that face was pure unadulterated evil. A look that said I’ve already won.

Emperor Palpatine. On E Main Street in Jackson, Missouri. I figured a Super Star Destroyer would be more his speed. Or even a Dodge Charger, at least the color was right. But a Cadillac? It doesn’t exactly strike fear into your soul the way an AT-AT or TIE Fighter does. No, this car says your grandfather has arrived to the family potluck.

The light changed and I drove on. She sat there like she was waiting for a personal invitation through the intersection. Was she using the dark side of the Force to irritate the drivers behind her? Or did she simply have all the time in the galaxy? I checked my mirror one last time and wondered if she was out here stalking younglings. Maybe that’s why she was going so slow.

I laughed at how ridiculous it sounded. Right. Like she’s hunting Jedi in Jackson.

I turned into Rhodes. Maybe I could escape. I felt like the rebel ship doing its best to outrun the Star Destroyer overhead, just trying to get home, trying to save the princess.

I checked my mirror one last time.

She was gone. No turn signal. No warning. Vanished.

And then it hit me. Yoda. Mace Windu. Perhaps Anakin Skywalker too. They came back for revenge. 

Revenge of the Jedi.

Jackson, Missouri was safe once more.

And somewhere on E Main Street, an old lady in a Cadillac was wondering why some dude in a Lexus LS430 kept staring at her in his rearview mirror.