Intimidating is the best way to describe it.

She is raising her hands. At just the right moment, her voice breaks. People around me nodding and whispering amen before she’s done. All of Naomi’s preparation is paying off, even the way she’s leaning into certain words, landing with the weight of a Baptist preacher pounding his fist on the podium.

Louder, faster, more emotional, right? Then God hears those prayers, the ones of the righteous because it’s more spiritual. Right?

It was a performance on stage for all to see. The stage lights highlight her hair, outfit, and makeup. Was it real? Or was it more like watching a bad movie, the acting good but not great, and the story lifeless?

And I think I knew.

But I didn’t want to.

If it’s just a performance, then why did I pay the full price of admission and watch the show, all while eating my popcorn? Here I am, sitting in the same room, nodding at the same moments, feeling the same pull to match the energy around me. I wasn’t just watching. I was a part of it.

There’s a moment in Matthew 6 where Jesus says, stop making a show of it. He doesn’t soften it. He talks about people turning prayer into a theatrical production, angling for stardom, hoping God is watching from a box seat like some cosmic audience member waiting to be impressed.

I sank back in my seat. Maybe I could dive into the popcorn bucket and hide. Because I knew.

Here’s where I want to be careful because praying together is important. The early church met and prayed together. And it was powerful! We need that. We need honest voices bringing their heartfelt needs into the room. It’s not the crowd, but the motive. You can perform on a stage in front of thousands or at home alone, in front of a mirror. The only thing that changes is the audience. Not your posture.

A quiet room provides zero feedback. There’s no one telling you that was beautiful, Naomi. It’s only you and God. And whatever you bring to him, be it praises, requests, or both. Performing for an audience of hundreds or thousands is easy. But it’s tougher to perform for God when he already knows what you’ll say before you say it.

Jesus says when you get there, your focus shifts. Not by force, discipline, or trying harder. It just shifts. From you to God. And in that shift, something opens up that the performance always kept closed. Your heart.

I’m struggling to learn this, to find the quiet room more often, and leave the noise behind. To show up simply. Leave the production outside.

For me, the quiet space is in our bedroom, Alissa sleeping next to me in the darkness of early morning. No stage. No lights. Just me and Jesus. Honest words and the silence I hold. That’s where God is waiting. Ready for me to show up.

Living with integrity means more than production. Come to God with all your heart in private. Not out where you can be seen.