Waking up on the 24th anniversary of September 11 and yesterday’s assassination of Charlie Kirk at Utah Valley University, I’m struck by two tragedies, separated by decades, now testing our nation’s character.

Despite the horror of 9/11, something remarkable happened. For the first time in years, Americans came together, highlighting our capacity for unity during our darkest hours. The spirit of 9/11 didn’t last long, but what it did do was show us what we’re capable of, choosing connection over division.

In a flash, yesterday’s shooting represents one more moment when violence tries its best to overpower and silence dialogue. A 31-year-old father of two, engaging in democratically protected debate on a college campus. He lost his life. Kirk and I disagreed on so many things. But that doesn’t mean violence is the solution. What happened was wrong. Period. Bloodshed has no place in America.

After walking away from governmental anger, partisanship, and political conversations in general, I’ve decided my attention is best served by finding common ground, rather than pointing fingers at what mistakes our political leaders have made. Like countless others, I too have made mistakes, letting my frustration drive my words. Instead, I’m learning that patience will serve us better.

The person sitting across from me, even if they disagree with me completely? That’s a human being. Flesh and blood. Probably with a family. Maybe kiddos that love them. Kirk’s children? They will grow up without a father. That should break our hearts, regardless of ideology.

Conversations bringing out the best in people? Building bridges. Not burning them. That’s what I’m shooting for. Inviting discussions. Refusing to shut it down because I disagree. When I do see problems, I will be the first to speak out, BUT I will also work hard to understand, long before seeking to be understood.

On this anniversary of September 11, faced with one more loss, I choose to remember both grief and resilience. I choose to believe we can find a spirit of unity through a choice; to treat each other with dignity and respect.

That’s the America I want. One conversation at a time.