I don’t get it. Chances are, as a middle-aged white guy, I never will. But that hasn’t stopped me from asking. And I’ve asked women of all ages and races, those willing to talk with me and listen to my ignorance, why they do this.

What is the deal with women judging another woman when she walks into a room? Immediately your eyes scan up and down, calculating and judging, without a spoken word. Best friends. Acquaintances. Or meeting for the first time. It doesn’t matter because all women do it. Right?

Yes, I’m judging women on this point. Is it okay for me to do this? Absolutely not. Nope. I surrender myself to the jury. I’m just as guilty of being judgey.

But the question I want to ask is more than the eyeing of another woman wearing an outfit wrong or using too much makeup. Why do we all judge other people? What is it about human beings that we need to focus our attention on someone less than us? It’s like we don’t have enough to do all by ourselves or that our lives aren’t tricky enough to manage without adding the pressure of taking our precious emotional energy and wasting it on something so trivial.

Jesus taught us to not judge people because if we do, we’ll be treated the exact same way we are treating them! Crazy, right? (Matthew 7:1-2 NLT). Half the time, I don’t think we realize that we are doing to them exactly what we don’t want done to us!

Here’s the problem: we cannot stop being judgmental all by ourselves. It’s not going to happen. We need to open our eyes, fall to our knees, and ask God to forgive our judgmental selves. It won’t happen overnight, nor will you wake up tomorrow and not do it. I wish it were that easy. But those of us who drive will get up, start the car, and wait until someone cuts us off or swerves into our lane because they are on their cell phone and immediately think judging thoughts about them. I’m guilty of that myself!

So what can we do? We let go and stop controlling everything we have zero control over – namely, everyone else who isn’t me. The only way that stops is when we let God have it. Which, to be very real here, is SUPER HARD! I struggle to do that. I get it wrong. A LOT! I don’t expect those around me, also following Jesus, to get it right.

I’m praying for a less judgmental attitude to love other people better. Until then, would you please forgive my eye-rolling? I’d really appreciate it. Thanks.