“You do not have what it takes to lead.”

In my lifetime, I’ve heard this statement uttered from the mouths of those not fit to lead. I’m not talking about people promoted into positions unbefitting them. No. This sentiment is reserved for those unwilling or unable to learn from their mistakes, including this one.

I read that in an email or a text thread and found myself spiraling out of control, thinking, “Who are you kidding? Person X is right! You suck and couldn’t lead others out of a wet paper bag, much less into something so big.”

Then I remember times when I was part of a group and did my best to hide. I wanted no attention. I managed to hide for a while, at least long enough for everyone to start looking around at who would do something.

So, I stopped hiding and said something along the lines of, “We have to do XYZ right now. We cannot wait another second.” I emphasized the urgency of action, and the group followed. This consistently happens when the opportunity presents itself. And, more often than not, the group takes up the charge and follows me.

I am not in a leadership role at my nine-to-five, but it’s not for a lack of trying, asking, or being unwilling to lead. Without the chance to make an opportunity out of nothing, you cannot advance, no matter how hard you want to try.

My leadership is highlighted best when it is appreciated and appropriate. When given the right opportunity and the chance to excel in leading a team, I make sure that no one on my team feels the slightest bit cheated or overlooked. It may cost me extra time to do that, but I believe the only way to show people the way is to show them. Don’t tell them. If you have role models who exemplify others, treating them better than their other supervisors did, you’ll have them singing your praise and have competing teams clamoring for you to lead them.

Resumes and cover letters will not tell you about the leader you are preparing your organization to hire. Only those led by them can tell you about their leadership style. Are they a good fit for your business or your team? Why did they leave their last position after a few months? Was it that they didn’t click with the CEO or the COO? Did they have low emotional intelligence? An anger problem that wasn’t visible on their CV?

Suppose all those things aren’t visible on a resume. Why would you eliminate the possibility of an overqualified candidate being nixed out of the running because AI said the resume or CV didn’t contain all the ‘right’ words?

Someday, companies and organizations will figure out that highly skilled, emotionally intelligent, and competent leaders are the ones who don’t always fit the cookie-cutter criteria of your job description.

Until then, I will continue to write and read everything I can so that when given an opportunity, not only will I excel in the position, but I will help build the company or organization culture to succeed because they will finally see the value in leaders who spend time building up their teams and people.