“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” George Santayana, philosopher

When we’re kids I don’t think we stop to think about the consequences of our actions. That’s not true. I’m confident we don’t give it a second thought. Why would we? We’re kids! We are supposed to be having fun, playing, and enjoying our lives while learning how to treat each other. Our parents didn’t have an instruction manual telling us how to raise us. Did our parents think about how what they modeled to us would lead us to actions we would follow, inadvertently as it were, all by ourselves?

Santayana’s words don’t apply to history alone. It also applies to our lives before and after having children if we choose to have them. Those who were born into families with more than one sibling? I can almost predict, with crazy accuracy, that you, too, will have kids.

“You can’t predict that.”

You are absolutely right. I cannot predict the future, nor do I want the responsibility of predicting yours. But amazingly enough, I proved this point to my daughter from my first marriage. She just moved in with her boyfriend – in her mother’s house. Why would this prompt me to talk about repeating history in the world? Much to my surprise, that’s the same thing that her mom and I did in the early nineties before we were married. Did my kiddo know that happened? Did her mom share that with her? When I heard shock and surprise in her tone, I knew she didn’t. Is that a bad thing? I don’t know.

Would she do the same thing? Is she doomed to repeat the mistakes that her mother and I made because that’s what she saw when she was young? Or is this just one big conspiracy theory?

I’ve heard a lot about conspiracy theories lately, including the flat earth theory, the faked moon landing, and that Elvis is still alive and well and living in Pasadena, California in a condo. I don’t ascribe to these theories, but they are intriguing and pique my curiosity.

It’s also interesting to consider it could be a glitch in the Matrix. I have heard a fair share of those also.

But what if the answer is simple? What if it’s as simple as recognizing we all have our own faults, demons, and histories that we must come to grips with as we grow older? And what if, through our own self-discovery while raising our family, we follow the example of our parents? And then our kiddos follow in our footsteps, because we did our best to get it right, changing some things, but others are under the surface, unknown to even our parents? Example upon example. Trials. Tribulations. And in the end, we can’t get it right, no matter how hard we try.

Is it a coincidence that I was divorced because my mom and dad divorced? Is it a conspiracy that my daughter moved her boyfriend into her mom’s house with her? Or are these explained away as a glitch in the Matrix?

What I know for sure is I’m going to pay closer attention to how I treat those around me. Who knows? It could set things in motion, a chain reaction forever impacting history. Like stepping on a butterfly could affect the weather throughout the world.

What tiny thing, the most minor thing you can imagine, can impact the global world today? Is it an act of kindness? Is it driving the posted speed limit? Is it not texting and driving? Or is it as simple as smiling or saying, ‘Thank you,’ when someone does something nice for you?

Whatever it is, I will spend more time focusing on those little things instead of worrying about all the things I cannot control. If it’s not my circus, then those aren’t my monkeys.