Why, when I start thinking about decisions and choices, do my thoughts immediately turn to driving and the drivers around me? Out on the road, for those who drive, you get to choose whether or not you abide by the rules of the road dictated by the state you live in. Left turn. Right turn. Yield. Stop. Go. You decide what to do, either following the rules or not. But it’s your choice. Your decision.

That creates a dilemma for me. On the one hand, I want to obey the rules, stopping at every light and sign. Yielding to traffic when needed. And not running yellow or red lights as they change from green to yellow to red.  

Once upon a time, I prided myself on being an excellent driver. Not that I didn’t do all those things that drove me crazy. I did. And still do at times. But I’m a lot more mindful of other people on the road. I do my best to obey the speed limit. I struggle with texting and driving. I do best when I keep my phone in my pocket.

Inattentive drivers are the ones I pay attention to the most. These are the ones who fail to pull up to the line at a stoplight or stop sign. They also leave more than three cars between themselves and the vehicle in front of them, limiting how many people behind them will get through the light. I’ve been in the car behind the woman sipping her iced vanilla latte with skim milk, talking with her phone on speaker in one hand, the other on the wheel, and said drink in hand. Just like clockwork, the light changes, and all the cars in the right lane, of which three are missing in ours, make it through the light. But do I? Will I make it? No, because the light changes yellow as she drives through the intersection. At that point, I can speed through the yellow, hoping to make it before it changes to red, or I can stop. What choice will I make?

That’s what I see happening more and more. People are so hurried that they cannot slow down and make good choices. So, take my scenario above and insert the frustrated vehicles behind me who choose to run a blatantly red light instead of waiting for the next cycle to change the light to green. What will happen when the light changes green in the other direction and someone speeds through the intersection? Which of the two vehicles will walk away from a crash, all because they decided to cross through the intersection, each car thinking they were the most important person on the road.

I’ve been that person. I’ve made these same mistakes. Run red lights. Been upset with other drivers to the point where I purposefully speed up to get around them and then slow down right in front of them, all to say, “Hey, bud! I’m important, too!”

Loving? No. Caring? Absolutely not! So, being mindful of how I’m acting behind the wheel, I’m seeing a lot more selfish behavior, mine included. We all think we’re more important than those around us. We believe we’re the only car, truck, SUV, or sports car on the road. We need to get to our final destination because you don’t matter.

The irony here is that no matter your destination or how fast you travel in your truck, you will not – I repeat, will not, beat the clock. You cannot outrun how fast it will take to arrive at any location. A wheeled vehicle on average city streets will only go so fast, and you cannot travel fast enough to beat time.  

I live outside the small town of Cape Girardeau, Missouri, and I can tell you it takes no less than ten minutes to drive from Cape Girardeau to Jackson, Missouri. The distance is about 9 miles, and you will drive between fifteen and twenty minutes in rural traffic, which isn’t the same as city traffic in San Francisco or Long Beach. Again, no matter how fast you try to go, it will take the same time. I’ve tested this, raced friends (not a suggestion I’m making – just proving a point), and driven at different times of day to have the same results. I’ve watched people around me trying to race to either town and watched them arrive three or four seconds ahead of or behind me.

But if you tell other people that, they will lose their minds!

“That’s not true!”

“I can do it in five minutes. Not fifteen.”

“You are using the wrong clock. I can beat Waze. Watch me.”

Or, my personal favorite, “Here. Hold my beer.”

The facts are the facts. Physics can’t be beaten, even if you drive a suped-up, beefed-up car with a V-12, fully loaded, dual carburetors, and a nitrous oxide booster. You’ll only lose gasoline. Or diesel, if you’re driving a truck.

So, the next time you pull up to a stop sign or a traffic signal, think about the lives of those in the cars next to you. Remember that you aren’t the only one on the road.

And please, stop running red lights!